Before I get to the actual post, I want to make something clear. This blog is anonymous because I don’t want to hesitate to say things and, it turns out, I don’t want to besmirch others. I have been very outspoken here about the hospital and its faults. I am a true believer in not bitching about something if you don’t do anything about it. For instance, don’t complain about a headache until you discover the aspirin or Tylenol does not work. To be clear, the hospital has been told about this blog and notified that it is their hospital. Patient relations has read the blog, several doctors know about it, and I found out today several members of the board have been told about it. So if I repeat a complaint, it is not that I am just complaining, inherent in the mention of the issues is the fact that the issue is known to the hospital and yet it persists.
I got a call last week from the hospital, a nurse asking to speak to “Jessica” someone. I said “There is no Jessica here, but I am a patient.” She checked her computer and mumbled something about the screen scrolling after she dialed, found my name and then continued (after a mumbled apology).
This is about your pre-admission appointment next week. If we go through some questions it will shorten the appointment, do you have some time now?
I said yes and she went through a standard questionare about history, medications, etc. Then she “confirmed” my appointment for next week.
I was told that the pre-admission appointment would be only by telephone.
No. We don’t do that.
I was told at the cerberus II appointment that the pre-admission stuff would be via telephone only. I can prove it, I have it in writing:
This morning I got an email telling me to check the patient portal about an upcoming appointment. Oh joy, my favorite web site. So today, August 26, 2018 I bring it up.
WHOA … wait a freaking minute. What is that on the upper right? I have the “#2 killer” … oh my god, I forgot that I may die. Thank you patient portal!
And my nurse practitioner is out until August 12. Good to know even if that was over a week ago and she is back. But then Dr. Pye is out until 2027. Still. Why is there not a canned “vacation notice” that the computer automatically keeps track of the end date, verifies it, and removes the message as appropriate? Nah, too easy.
The portal says I have a 10 AM appointment with the “wound/ostomy nurse” … a scary title. I am told that she will work with me to find a spot for the ostomy … I pick her belly, not mine. They say the appointment will be 45 – 60 minutes. I then do nothing for over an hour and have the “pat-preadmission testing” appointment.
The portal also tells me this:
If, in fact, I did not have the nurse appointment at 10 AM, I would be driving into the big city for a five minute appointment? Parking alone will cost me $10 no matter what. This is insane.
All I can say is that this better be a very well-used, important five minutes and not a waste of my time, or theirs. And if the nurse hands me an enema, I am not sure that colorectal cancer will still be the number 2 killer …
