Quick review …

At the first Cerberus meeting I met my hematology / oncology doctor, Dr. Pye, along with the surgeon and radiologist. I was impressed with her and very glad she drew the short straw and I was her patient. A couple of weeks later Inanna and I had an appointment with her and learned more, it went very well. I did a bit of research, she is well respected, very intelligent, and everything one wants in a doctor.

My first day of chemo I was to have an appointment with her, but it turned out that she had some medical issues herself and was out for a while. I took this in stride, sort of, even though it was very disappointing. I was assigned to another member of the chemo team, and this doctor, Dr. Chemo2 was very impressive as well. Ok, I can deal with this, but I was still hoping that Dr. Pye would be back for my after-surgery chemo.

Once my chemo-radiation was finished I received a call for my cerberus II appointment, again the radiologist, surgeon and chemologist (?). The scheduler mentioned yet a third chemo doctor and I made it clear that was not acceptable. Why a third? After some studdering she scheduled Dr. Chemo2. That was ok, I liked him.

A bit later I needed a chemo appointment and saw Dr. Pye! She was only back for a short time. We discussed the upcoming appointment and she said that she may be able to be there but was not sure. She checked the 3:00 time. The odds are she would not be around after my surgery though. We agreed that I should see Dr. Chemo2 since he would be stuck with me responsible for my post-surgery care and potential chemo. Dr. Pye would try to attend if it worked out.

That evening I looked in the patient portal, and Dr. Pye was listed! The appointment was scheduled for next Wednesday, 3:00 PM. I was able to choose that time to make sure that Inanna could easily attend as well.

Last week I got a call telling me the surgeon wanted me to have a flexible sigmoidoscopy, a camera up my butt. Ok, fine, and it was scheduled for 12:30 next Wednesday, before the cerberus II appointment.

A bit after I got that call, I got an email with instructions. The email started “Dear Mary,” … that is an actual quote, I did not make up that name, and no, my name is not Mary. Not even close. They actually sent me someone else’s email. I certainly hope a gynecologist does not walk in with a flexible anything …

This is what I knew:

• Flexible sigmoidoscopy (with or without Mary) at 12:30
• Cerberus II appointment at 3:00
• Chemo hematologist: Dr. Pye (if possible) and potentially Dr. Chemo2

And that brings me to today.

I looked in the patient portal to double check a different appointment. I noticed a couple of things …

• No flexible sigmoidoscopy scheduled
• The cerberus II appointment was moved earlier to 1:15
• Dr. Pye was the only chemo doctor listed; it also says, and this is a direct quote, that Dr. Pye is “Out of office through 10/22/2027”

No angst here. I am just the fucking patient with the cancerous tumor and they are changing appointments, canceling appointments and not telling me. And no, it’s not chemo brain. At least not on my end.

Of course it takes three calls to kind of figure out what is going on.

The flex sig (that’s the lingo those in-the-know use) is scheduled at 1:15 but what the portal does not say is that I need to show up at 12:30 so in fact the flex sig is for 12:30; but my butt won’t be violated for 45 minutes. I guess they don’t put that in writing. And, without telling me, the appointment with the three doctors is immediately after the flex sig, so in fact that appointment is listed as 1:15, but is really 1:30, and yes, changed from 3:00. Without telling me. The victim patient.

Actual schedule (maybe) for the day:

• Flexible sigmoidoscopy (with or without Mary) sometime between 12:30 and 1:15
• Cerberus II appointment at 1:30
• Chemo hematologist: No clue even though it still says Dr. Pye who is out for the next 3370 days!

So, when the scheduler said:

how about scheduling the flex sig for 12:30?

and said NOTHING ELSE ABOUT THE OTHER APPOINTMENTS what she really meant but DID NOT SAY was

we can make the flex sig for 1:15, change the three doctor appointment to 1:30 and need you to get here at 12:30.

Never said any of that. Did not put that in the patient portal.

I don’t know which chemo doctor will be there, Dr. Pye had said the 3:00 time was potentially possible. Did they check with her? That was weeks ago before listing her as out until 2027. If it is not her, will it be Dr. Chemo2? Are we back to the mystery doctor behind door number 3? If a third doctor shows up I may lose my shit. I have a relationship with these two, for what that is worth. And since my life is in their hands, it is worth a lot. To me. The fucking patient. I am already really not happy about this. I don’t need more angst in my life, thank you very much.

Inanna now needs to take time off work to make the appointment. And it is a damn good thing I happened to look, otherwise she would have missed it and that is not a minor thing.

• Who changed the appointment?
• Why was it changed?
• If it changed because of the flex sig time, why was I not told when I agreed to the 12:30? (This is the same shit they pulled when my radiation was scheduled for daily appointments and no one told me the relationship to the weekly chemo appointment. That’s another rant for another time.)
• Why does the patient portal say nonsensical things?
• Who the hell is Mary and does she have my email? Will we be in bunk-cots and have dueling flex sigs?

Color me not happy.

Seriously. This one will be keep me up tonight. Is it too much to know what doctor will be there? Am I asking too much?

If you work in a hospital, IF YOU WORK IN MY HOSPITAL, watch this four minute video. Really. Please. As if my request means anything.