Several weeks ago, during the wonderful chemo-radiation, I asked one of the doctors (not the surgeon) for some more information about the surgery itself. He said that he was an awful artist but took pen to paper anyway …

If you know what to look for, this is actually a very good representation drawing. The tumor is at the intersection of the colon and the rectum (double circle near the bottom), the two “cut lines” for the surgeon show the foot long piece of colon to be removed, and the other drawing shows how the small intestine will be “tapped” into for the ileostomy. (I have been saying colostomy but in fact I will have an ileostomy … “a surgical operation in which a piece of the ileum is diverted to an artificial opening in the abdominal wall.” The name tells one the part of the overall intestine getting stomatized.)

Here is the picture I was given at the pre-op testing appointment yesterday. I like the doctor’s drawing better.

And of course I got my Home Ostomy Kit Book …

Yes, yes, I know, you want the to see my perfect belly. This is all about the “X” and its placement. As discussed in yesterday’s blog post, the nurse is tasked with finding the best placement for the stoma with both my quality of life and the mechanical workings of the stoma / bag system in mind. Once the placement was determined, she marked the “X” with a pen and covered it with a clear dressing.

So the next subject is the bag itself. These bags are clear and that is kind of rude as even I don’t particularly want to see the contents of my small intestine. There are lots of covers on the market, and searching led me to a small assortment that I find interesting …

And of course then there is my favorite:

All sorts of people do all sorts of things with said accessory:

What I don’t understand is why they don’t make manly covers … here is a mock up I just created, I bet I can sell a million …
What better cover to use when sitting around just shooting the shit with friends?

The takeaway is that I think no matter what, after surgery I very well may end up looking like either Bag Lady Mama:

or the lady in red …

I may be bummed that it is only temporary …